Methods for Dealing with Mom Rage

mom rage

7 Ways to Limit Stress During Frustrated Moments

Parenting is never easy. We have our moments, we’re all human! I’m sure everyone in my building can hear us at times. Each time your child pushes those buttons, it is very hard to find the patience. However, when you start to see your children expressing themselves in rebellious ways, you can’t help but recognize the similarities.

Mom rage is not an easy thing to deal with and it is simply easier said than done to control in several cases. However, these methods below can help you stay calm and less stressed. = )

mom rage

Count to Ten

This might sound silly. Yet it really works. Allow your child to see this as you do it. As you do the counting, take deep slow breaths. They may even join you!

Show Authority

Nobody has true authority over you except when you allow them. Furthermore, it is your choice to get upset or angry. Keep yourself reminded that if you give away more power, your child will have less to take from you. 

 Monitor Your Progress

Create a list of the incidents where you have been successful in coping with stressful moments. Write down what you did, how you felt, or what you can do to handle the situation better next time. 

Tell Yourself that It Won’t Last Long

Always remind yourself that it won’t last more than a couple of moments. I know at the time it seems like forever. You just want to scream because you need a F&*KI$G break!  Eventually, kids grow up. These moments do pass. 

Reward Yourself For Being Responsible

Keep reminding yourself how good it feels to take responsibility for your emotional reactions, your progress, and still showing up even on the hardest days. Give yourself some time for positive thoughts and feelings. Always Take Things Positively. Consider the idea that someone else always has it more difficult than you and that your experience can’t be compared to what somebody else may have. 

Don’t Respond To Aggression With Aggression

Keep in mind that responding to aggressive behavior with another aggressive behavior is never a good idea. This will just validate and enforce the behavior of the child. Your child desperately wants to become just like you and he or she would imitate any attitude you show. 

Become an Example. If you want to teach your child good behaviors, you will need to practice the things you preach so as to guide his misbehavior effectively in the correct direction. Always teach and show your capability to manage your emotions. Keep in mind that the spotlight strikes you. Hence, each time you feel enticed to curse or yell, stop and then reconsider that line of thinking.  

Teach Your Child The Alternatives

Show and teach your child some alternative techniques to manage their emotions. Provide approaches that are more constructive and more positive. Let them learn the ways to direct their emotions with creative expression. Encourage them to inform you whenever they feel upset or angry when possible.  

Along with these methods above, it is important to make time for yourself. I mean, we all love our kids to death. Yet, we all need self-love too. <3.

 

Four Tips on Maintaining Emotional Balance in Toddlers

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Baby Burnout Blues

When you think of someone feeling burned out or overwhelmed, you may think of a person who works a lot, or doesn’t have a lot of time to unwind. However, your youngsters don’t really come to mind. The truth is anyone can become overwhelmed at any age. Kids can experience burnout too. Especially, over the previous eighteen months being in a Pandemic. Numerous day-to-day activities have changed. Of course, they don’t have major obligations and bills to pay but they DO have their own pressuring factors. Regardless of whether it is learning to process new feelings, or overcoming potty training challenges, many children do not know what being “burned out” means, and as parents, it is very easy to confuse with “normal” toddler tantrums.

Here are some tips I find to be very helpful in maintaining emotional balance for my little ones.

Restore confidence by stepping back

We have all heard the phrase, “less is more,” and in many cases, it is actually true. This is one of those cases. Whatever the challenge is at hand your child is dealing with, allowing them to take a little break helps to get back on track with a fresh mindset. The last thing we want to do is overwhelm our kids with frustration!

Most toddlers are eager to do things on their own. Especially, mine! Since they are so close in age, one quickly learned from the other how to say, “I do it.” I often provide opportunities for them to play and explore safely. Oftentimes, children will give more effort into something when they think no one is watching. There is no pressure anticipating a reaction from the person watching.

Zzzzz… is not for zebra in this case!

Healthy sleep habits are so important in children’s overall development. Based on recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics, children between the ages of 1-3 should get an average of about 10-14 hours per 24 hour period. This would include naps as well.

The same way adults are grouchy from a sleepless night, children show their  “grouchiness” in the form of temper tantrums. Establishing a bedtime routine is something that should have been set when the baby was born, lol. However, that is not always the case. Sometimes having more than one child makes things much harder. To be completely honest, we are still trying to make bedtime more efficient. As the girls are getting older they continuously find new ways to hype each other up every night, smh.

Fortunately, my youngest takes a nap at least 5 days a week for a good 2-3 hours. My oldest on the other hand? I have been trying to get that child to take a nap for 3 years now! Haha. Although, I strongly enforce rest times throughout the day. This typically includes tablet time, or a special milk drink, and a quiet show.

Healthy sleep patterns help maintain positive attitudes in not just children but grown-ups too.

Get Physical!

No, I don’t mean to drop-kick your kid across the room! Although, sometimes they make you want to. Moving along, all jokes aside, I can’t stress how important physical activity is for children. I mean, they gotta burn that energy to fall asleep right?

Things have been difficult for so many during this time. While many businesses were closed it was very easy to rely on TVs and tablets for entertainment. Especially, for those who live in apartment buildings or condos and don’t have a personal backyard.

I try to take my kids outside as much as I can. Even if it is just a short walk around the block, 20 minutes of fresh air can make a big difference. I’ll admit, we do tend to have the TV on a lot in this house. However, the kids love to listen to music, dance and sing along. They much rather prefer songs over shows. One of our favorites for indoor exercise is kid’s Zumba videos on Youtube. The girls have probably danced to them over 100 times. Even my 1 year old knows all the moves! The “minion song” and “I like to move it, move it,” are their favorites!

The bottom line is having some form of physical activity even for just a few minutes can help burn any unwanted energy when it comes down to Zzz time.

Talk it out

Communication is another critical factor in earlier child development. Starting back to when those little munchkins were still cooking, some doctors and midwives would recommend talking to our babies. Luckily, in my household, we have grown to talk about everything. My husband and I  like to use the cause-and-effect method a lot when it comes to explaining why we don’t do certain things. For instance, when the kids decide to throw food on the floor. I will say something like, “if you throw food on the floor, all the bugs are going to come, then we are going to have so many creepy bugs crawling on the floor to eat your food. Do you want bugs?” If your kid doesn’t like bugs it works lol.

The more kids learn the more questions they have. In both good teaching moments and bad ones, strong communication skills will go a long way for our little ones. We even use examples sometimes to get the point across which actually makes the kids pay attention more because it gets them involved in the lesson.

These are just 4 of the main things we incorporate in our household daily to help maintain positive growth and emotional development in our children. Not to mention, healthy eating habits, creative learning, etc. Children learn at different stages and not every child is the same. Understanding at what point your child’s behaviors start to change during a certain moment can help to overcome challenges and continue encouraging confidence.