Methods for Dealing with Mom Rage

mom rage

7 Ways to Limit Stress During Frustrated Moments

Parenting is never easy. We have our moments, we’re all human! I’m sure everyone in my building can hear us at times. Each time your child pushes those buttons, it is very hard to find the patience. However, when you start to see your children expressing themselves in rebellious ways, you can’t help but recognize the similarities.

Mom rage is not an easy thing to deal with and it is simply easier said than done to control in several cases. However, these methods below can help you stay calm and less stressed. = )

mom rage

Count to Ten

This might sound silly. Yet it really works. Allow your child to see this as you do it. As you do the counting, take deep slow breaths. They may even join you!

Show Authority

Nobody has true authority over you except when you allow them. Furthermore, it is your choice to get upset or angry. Keep yourself reminded that if you give away more power, your child will have less to take from you. 

 Monitor Your Progress

Create a list of the incidents where you have been successful in coping with stressful moments. Write down what you did, how you felt, or what you can do to handle the situation better next time. 

Tell Yourself that It Won’t Last Long

Always remind yourself that it won’t last more than a couple of moments. I know at the time it seems like forever. You just want to scream because you need a F&*KI$G break!  Eventually, kids grow up. These moments do pass. 

Reward Yourself For Being Responsible

Keep reminding yourself how good it feels to take responsibility for your emotional reactions, your progress, and still showing up even on the hardest days. Give yourself some time for positive thoughts and feelings. Always Take Things Positively. Consider the idea that someone else always has it more difficult than you and that your experience can’t be compared to what somebody else may have. 

Don’t Respond To Aggression With Aggression

Keep in mind that responding to aggressive behavior with another aggressive behavior is never a good idea. This will just validate and enforce the behavior of the child. Your child desperately wants to become just like you and he or she would imitate any attitude you show. 

Become an Example. If you want to teach your child good behaviors, you will need to practice the things you preach so as to guide his misbehavior effectively in the correct direction. Always teach and show your capability to manage your emotions. Keep in mind that the spotlight strikes you. Hence, each time you feel enticed to curse or yell, stop and then reconsider that line of thinking.  

Teach Your Child The Alternatives

Show and teach your child some alternative techniques to manage their emotions. Provide approaches that are more constructive and more positive. Let them learn the ways to direct their emotions with creative expression. Encourage them to inform you whenever they feel upset or angry when possible.  

Along with these methods above, it is important to make time for yourself. I mean, we all love our kids to death. Yet, we all need self-love too. <3.

 

5 Ways to Keep Kids Busy While Working from Home

 

5 Ways to Keep Kids Busy

Summer is here and school is out! Well, for some school has been out as virtual learning has been the new way of schooling this past year and change. As for us parents, responsibilities remain the same. We have no “Summer break.” However, we do have to entertain these children while trying to work!

I don’t like to see them sit in front of the TV all day long, but I also don’t like to hear them whine out of boredom even more.

Here are some fun activities I like to do with my girls to keep them occupied in the house:

“What the Fort!”

Kids love forts, tents, anything they can crawl in. My kids have a whole Minnie Mouse playhouse they got for Christmas last year for this very reason. Yet, they still love our homemade forts with pillows and blankets. We actually re-purpose our pack-n-play by turning it on its side and using it as the base of the tent. Then add a bunch of pillows and blankets. The girls LOVE it!

Daddy set this one up. He even added the lights. I mean, how cozy does this look!?

image of Diy forts

“Schedule a Meeting”

Since working from home is the new normal these days. Some kids have gotten used to seeing their parents spend lots of time in front of computers with headsets and other gadgets. I don’t know about your kids but mine sure do like to mimic mama! They get so excited when I tell them they have a “video meeting,” like mama. This is where grandparents come in or really anyone your kids are close with. Mine happens to be their grandma. Simply, set up a mini workstation next to you, start the video call, and tell them they have to sit still for the meeting or the video is going to turn off. Sometimes I can get a good 10 minutes of them sitting down.

Build Something!

This is one of my favorites! My daughter LOVES making new toys with random household items. There are so many ways to be creative with this idea. You can make something new or even use another toy as a “model” and re-create yourself with fun items! We use all sorts of stuff, cardboard boxes, paper rolls, popsicle sticks. The point is to use your imagination! Honestly, sometimes I think my kids like the DIY toy more than the actual one. This idea also helps to teach kids to take care of their stuff. For instance, if they worked hard on making a paper boat, they may be less likely to destroy it AS quickly.

paper boat

You could also use old cereal boxes to play mailbox as I described in the post, “Creative Activity for Kids Reusing Cereal Boxes.

Classic Movie Time

By classic movie, I mean bringing out the Disney classics. I CAN’T wait until my girls are old enough or should I say calm enough to cuddle up and watch movies. Fortunately for them, Mama and Papa have already started creating a collection!

Although my kids aren’t at that stage yet, this is something I did when I used to be a nanny. I would have to keep the kids relatively quiet when their mom was working from home. Ironic, isn’t it? Now I’m in the same situation! ;}  Back to the point. If the weather permitted us from going on outdoor adventures, we had a MOVIE day. I would set up the living room to resemble a movie theatre by creating cozy, specific, places for each child to sit. I would make popcorn, snacks, and yummy smoothies.

popcorn movie night

I even went as far as making silly announcements with the toy microphone like, “Please remain in your seat while watching the movie, please raise your hand to call the movie theatre “mommy helper,” (which is what they called me, haha.) The boys always laughed when I would say, “please do not throw food at others!” They knew I wasn’t playing with them.

Sometimes, if I knew movie day was planned ahead of time. I would make “movie tickets” out of construction paper. I would just write “MOVIE” since I didn’t know what we would end up watching. I decorated them with cute stickers and put their names. I would also make coupons for snacks to use at the Concession kitchen.

I’m telling you the kids would get so excited!

Scavenger Hunt

Who doesn’t love a good scavenger hunt. They aren’t just for Easter. You can customize the games according to your children’s age.

Some of my favorite things to hide for my girls are lollipops, stickers, chapstick, teddy bears, you get the gist. I will give them a little bucket of some sort and send them searching.

You could even do mystery hunts and hide clues. Again, customize to age.

You got this Mama!

I know it is super hard to keep kids occupied and with the Pandemic it just feels like we spend more and more time with them. I mean, I LOVE my kids dearly but sometimes we need a break too. When you work from home it is even harder!

I’d love to hear your ideas on other creative ways to keep your little ones entertained. Don’t forget to follow @momsmishn on Instagram to keep up with other fun things we may do!

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Four Tips on Maintaining Emotional Balance in Toddlers

kids-learning-development

Baby Burnout Blues

When you think of someone feeling burned out or overwhelmed, you may think of a person who works a lot, or doesn’t have a lot of time to unwind. However, your youngsters don’t really come to mind. The truth is anyone can become overwhelmed at any age. Kids can experience burnout too. Especially, over the previous eighteen months being in a Pandemic. Numerous day-to-day activities have changed. Of course, they don’t have major obligations and bills to pay but they DO have their own pressuring factors. Regardless of whether it is learning to process new feelings, or overcoming potty training challenges, many children do not know what being “burned out” means, and as parents, it is very easy to confuse with “normal” toddler tantrums.

Here are some tips I find to be very helpful in maintaining emotional balance for my little ones.

Restore confidence by stepping back

We have all heard the phrase, “less is more,” and in many cases, it is actually true. This is one of those cases. Whatever the challenge is at hand your child is dealing with, allowing them to take a little break helps to get back on track with a fresh mindset. The last thing we want to do is overwhelm our kids with frustration!

Most toddlers are eager to do things on their own. Especially, mine! Since they are so close in age, one quickly learned from the other how to say, “I do it.” I often provide opportunities for them to play and explore safely. Oftentimes, children will give more effort into something when they think no one is watching. There is no pressure anticipating a reaction from the person watching.

Zzzzz… is not for zebra in this case!

Healthy sleep habits are so important in children’s overall development. Based on recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics, children between the ages of 1-3 should get an average of about 10-14 hours per 24 hour period. This would include naps as well.

The same way adults are grouchy from a sleepless night, children show their  “grouchiness” in the form of temper tantrums. Establishing a bedtime routine is something that should have been set when the baby was born, lol. However, that is not always the case. Sometimes having more than one child makes things much harder. To be completely honest, we are still trying to make bedtime more efficient. As the girls are getting older they continuously find new ways to hype each other up every night, smh.

Fortunately, my youngest takes a nap at least 5 days a week for a good 2-3 hours. My oldest on the other hand? I have been trying to get that child to take a nap for 3 years now! Haha. Although, I strongly enforce rest times throughout the day. This typically includes tablet time, or a special milk drink, and a quiet show.

Healthy sleep patterns help maintain positive attitudes in not just children but grown-ups too.

Get Physical!

No, I don’t mean to drop-kick your kid across the room! Although, sometimes they make you want to. Moving along, all jokes aside, I can’t stress how important physical activity is for children. I mean, they gotta burn that energy to fall asleep right?

Things have been difficult for so many during this time. While many businesses were closed it was very easy to rely on TVs and tablets for entertainment. Especially, for those who live in apartment buildings or condos and don’t have a personal backyard.

I try to take my kids outside as much as I can. Even if it is just a short walk around the block, 20 minutes of fresh air can make a big difference. I’ll admit, we do tend to have the TV on a lot in this house. However, the kids love to listen to music, dance and sing along. They much rather prefer songs over shows. One of our favorites for indoor exercise is kid’s Zumba videos on Youtube. The girls have probably danced to them over 100 times. Even my 1 year old knows all the moves! The “minion song” and “I like to move it, move it,” are their favorites!

The bottom line is having some form of physical activity even for just a few minutes can help burn any unwanted energy when it comes down to Zzz time.

Talk it out

Communication is another critical factor in earlier child development. Starting back to when those little munchkins were still cooking, some doctors and midwives would recommend talking to our babies. Luckily, in my household, we have grown to talk about everything. My husband and I  like to use the cause-and-effect method a lot when it comes to explaining why we don’t do certain things. For instance, when the kids decide to throw food on the floor. I will say something like, “if you throw food on the floor, all the bugs are going to come, then we are going to have so many creepy bugs crawling on the floor to eat your food. Do you want bugs?” If your kid doesn’t like bugs it works lol.

The more kids learn the more questions they have. In both good teaching moments and bad ones, strong communication skills will go a long way for our little ones. We even use examples sometimes to get the point across which actually makes the kids pay attention more because it gets them involved in the lesson.

These are just 4 of the main things we incorporate in our household daily to help maintain positive growth and emotional development in our children. Not to mention, healthy eating habits, creative learning, etc. Children learn at different stages and not every child is the same. Understanding at what point your child’s behaviors start to change during a certain moment can help to overcome challenges and continue encouraging confidence.

 

 

 

Summer Hair Care Favorites for Curly Hair

“Curly Hair, Don’t Care”

Natural Curls
My daughters curly bun

Summer is one of my favorite seasons next to Fall. However, thanks to my thick middle-eastern hair, humidity is not my friend. Marci, my oldest daughter has hair just like her Mama. Although, her curls are more like Shirley Temple’s. She has such beautiful hair which makes it so frustrating to maintain since she does NOT like having her hair touched. If you can relate, check out some of my favorite hair care products!

“Brush it, Brush it real good”

Moving on from my corny Vanilla Ice reference. I have gone through a variety of brushes and combs to find the right ones. Especially, when it comes to my daughter’s hair. You would think she was in a horror movie the way she screams. I’m sure many of you can relate. The hair struggle is real.

Detangle Brushes are my Best Friends

The “Wide Tooth Comb Shower Comb With Hook, Good for Curly Hair Wet Dry, Premium Tangle Free Combs Black” is great, especially in the shower. I comb out all the knots while conditioning the hair. It is so much easier than trying to hold her down and comb her hair after the shower.

The Wet Detangle Brush is by far my favorite. It is super soft, and doesn’t hurt while untangling knots.

Curly Care Product Favorites

I remember as a teenager I would put massive amounts of gel and mouse in my hair to get those kinky, crunchy curls. Oh, and the best part, top it all off with super hold hairspray. I quickly learned all I was doing was drying out my hair. Now, I stick to curling creams and “softer” hair products.

Cantu Shea Butter for Natural Hair Moisturizing Curl Activator Cream is the best for getting those soft curls. This is definitely stocked in my house. I actually love a lot of products made by Cantu.

The curling cream for kids is perfect for my three-year-old’s hair. It keeps her curls from getting frizzy and doesn’t leave a greasy feeling. The last thing I need is to wash her hair every night!

Anti-Frizz Action

As I mentioned before, humidity is not my friend. Those hot Summer days have me looking like I was electrocuted. If I know I am going to be outside I always be sure to use an anti-frizz spray to keep from looking crazy. OGX Strength & Length + Golden Turmeric Anti-Frizz Air Dry Hair Cream with Coconut Milk does the job well and it smells so good!

OGX Argan Oil of Morocco Curling Perfection Curl-Defining Cream, Hair-Smoothing Anti-Frizz Cream is another all-time favorite. I used to use anti-frizz serums but I found it to make my hair more oily than I wanted.

“All for one, and one for all”

Wet Brush Time Release Detangler is great for so many things. Not only does it keep your hair conditioned for a couple of days. It can be used as a heat protector as well.

No dead ends here

When I compare the products I use now to the crappy stuff I used in the past, I can definitely say less is more. You just have to use the right products. If you have curly hair like me you may find these products helpful. Comment below what your favorite hair care products are.

Disclosure: “Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means that, at no extra cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase. “ = )

Look at Yourself in the Mirror Mama

Look at yourself in the mirror mama,

You are beautiful and strong.

Look at yourself in the mirror mama,

Even when the days are long.

Look at yourself in the mirror mama,

You are the rock of the family.

Look at yourself in the mirror mama,

Even through all the insanity.

Look at yourself in the mirror mama,

Dark circles and all.

Look at yourself in the mirror mama,

Motherhood is a special call.

Look at yourself in the mirror mama,

The one they call mom.

Look at yourself in the mirror mama,

The one who releases the calm.

Look at yourself in the mirror mama,

Even when your patience is on zero.

Look at yourself in the mirror mama,

The one those children look to as a hero.

Mama Mish

My second pregnancy surgery story and my experience with post partum depression

How many of you have experienced or know someone who has experienced postpartum depression? According to the CDC, studies show about 1 in 8 women experience symptoms of postpartum depression. That is a lot of women! Well, I was one of them.

Let’s start from the beginning. 

On Sunday, February 3rd, 2019, I took a pregnancy test. I had not missed my monthly friend yet but something in my body told me to take one. After 3 long minutes, there was a light pink line. Although, my husband and I shared joy at the thought of our daughter having a sibling. We did not want to get too excited until we knew for sure. Since it was still so early, we figured we would make an appointment for later in the week.

If I recall correctly it was about 4:00 am the next morning. I started experiencing the worst cramps I had ever felt. I was on the floor, in tears, with so much pain. My husband called my mom to come over and watch the baby while we went to the emergency room. When we arrived, I was sent to a room rather quickly. I told the doctor everything I was feeling and about the “positive” pregnancy test. Naturally, the nurse drew blood. I then went for ultra-sound imaging. I remember suffering during the whole bumpy ride down. The tech didn’t say much during the ultra-sound. Despite the fact I was in so much pain, I was anxiously waiting for her to say, “there’s the yolk sack,” as our sonographer had expressed to us when my husband and I first found out about Marci (our first.) Instead, before she hung the probe she said, “you will be okay.” I will be okay? What the hell did that mean?! 

Moments later, the doctor came to our room and sat down. She looked at me with a face full of sorrow as she explained to us I had an ectopic pregnancy BUT not in my fallopian tube. Rather, on my ovary. I had internal bleeding which was causing the pain. I was scheduled to have emergency surgery at 7:00 am. I was so confused, aching in pain both physically and emotionally. 

After surgery, my OB-GYN explained to me what happened during surgery. He had to remove about 80% of my right ovary to clean up the internal bleeding and tissue mass. I was discharged a couple hours later. Filled with emotions and pain medication for that matter it was a quiet ride home. I probably cried about 10x that week thinking I lost my baby and I would have a harder time getting pregnant with one “working” ovary.  

My doctor called that Friday, he instructed me to come in right away to discuss my biopsy results. Can you imagine the thoughts running through my head when he said that! I made it there within the hour anticipating what he was going to say. It turned out the mass we thought was my baby was a giant blast of cysts that had burst. He ordered more blood work to check my HCG levels. Sure enough, those levels were rising. We did an ultrasound at 6 weeks and finally the little dot that warmed my heart. Despite surgery, my little embryo was in there just minding her own business until she was ready to make her debut in my womb. I was considered an at-risk pregnancy due to how much blood I had lost during surgery. I had doctor appointments 2-4 times a month for probably my entire pregnancy. 

Ahh.. the delivery. Much different than my first, the labor was more intense as my epidural didn’t take so I pretty much felt everything. However, the recovery was much quicker. I said to myself, “I’ve got this.” Well, after 3 months I most certainly did not have it. 

At first, I denied the fact I may be experiencing postpartum depression. I just felt so angry at the slightest things. What I needed was a FREAKING break! I found myself sitting in wineries or local bars just enjoying a few moments to myself. I would count down the minutes until I would arrive back home to whatever mess awaited me. 

A couple of months later businesses started closing due to Covid-19. Quarantine had begun, and so did the worst of my depression. How was it that I was home all day, yet I still couldn’t get my life together? I wasn’t lazy, I was tired. I wasn’t a bad mom. I just needed help.

I started having sharp chest pains and was more tired than ever before. Needless to say, I thought I had Coronavirus and went to the doctor. After breaking down in tears while trying to explain to the physician how I was feeling, he looked at me and said, “you do not have Covid, my dear, you have kids.” I couldn’t help but laugh. 

One night after the kids had gone to sleep. I got my journal out and wrote down my To-do/Mish’n list. I realized everything on that list was tasks I needed to do for others. When was the last time I did something for myself? I had no friends, no hobbies, no job, and barely any self-care. I knew things needed to change or I would lose my absolute mind. So…

I re-worked my list. 

Be sure to subscribe to my blog for notifications each time I post something new. Stay tuned for Mish’n 1: The Hustle. As always, thank you all for your continued support! #momsmishnfam

12 Hours Post Surgery 02/04/2019.
Baby Shower, September 2019.